Right then, pack your pith helmet and your most ridiculously chic linen trousers, because we're off on a ten day escape to Botswana and Zambia that frankly, is so plush it makes Downton Abbey look like a budget hostel. This isn't your average "spot a lion from a distance" kind of trip. Oh no, this is a full on, private jet, champagne sipping, elephant whispering kind of affair. First stop, Botswana. Think Okavango Delta, but not the dusty, slightly uncomfortable version. We're talking about exclusive tented camps that are more boutique hotel than wilderness base. Imagine waking up to the gentle trumpeting of elephants just outside your ridiculously comfortable bed, then being presented with a full English breakfast cooked to perfection, complete with views that would make David Attenborough weep with joy. Your mornings will likely involve gliding through the waterways in a mokoro, a traditional dugout canoe, steered by a guide who knows more about the local wildlife than you know about your own family tree. Honestly, these guys can spot a leopard hidden in plain sight while juggling a gin and tonic. We’re talking about expert trackers, private game drives in open top vehicles where you’re more likely to get a close up of a giraffe’s eyelashes than anything remotely alarming. Evenings? Sundowners on your private deck, watching the sky turn a million shades of orange and purple, followed by a gourmet dinner served under a canopy of stars. It’s enough to make you forget you ever had to do your own washing up. Then, it’s a swift hop over to Zambia, specifically to the Luangwa Valley. This place is legendary for its walking safaris, and believe me, when you're walking through the bush with armed rangers, you feel a certain… gravitas. But fear not, this is luxury walking. Think strategically placed refreshment stops with chilled towels and sparkling water, and guides who can tell you the entire life story of a dung beetle if you ask nicely. The wildlife here is something else. Leopards are practically a daily occurrence, and the sheer abundance of elephants is breathtaking. One afternoon, I swear a herd decided to have a parade right past our lodge. It was like a scene from a nature documentary, except I was wearing silk pyjamas and sipping a cocktail. The lodges here are just as opulent, offering infinity pools overlooking watering holes and staff who anticipate your every need before you even realise you have it. I found myself wondering if I could just permanently retire to one of these places, perhaps as the resident expert on the proper way to fold a napkin. Honestly, by day ten, you’ll be a seasoned safari pro, albeit a very well rested and pampered one. You’ll have a Rolodex of animal names that would impress a zoologist, and a newfound appreciation for the sheer magnificence of Africa. You might also find yourself struggling to adjust back to reality, where the most exciting thing you’ll see is your neighbour’s cat. But that's the magic of it all, isn't it? A complete immersion in nature, wrapped in the silkiest of blankets. It's an experience that lingers long after the last GandT has been enjoyed. Absolutely worth every single penny, and then some.