Grab a cuppa and settle in, because I'm about to spill the beans on a holiday that’s frankly ruined me for anything less. We’re talking about a 12 day Kenyan adventure, not your average, slightly dusty affair, oh no. This was the full Monty, a bush to beach extravaganza that was so utterly luxurious, I’m still not entirely sure it was real. Our journey began with a rather dramatic entrance into the Maasai Mara. Forget bumpy flights in rickety planes; our tiny safari plane was more like a flying limousine, complete with plush seating and a pilot who probably knew the names of every wildebeest in the reserve. Stepping out, we were greeted by our guide, a chap named Geoffrey who had the patience of a saint and the tracking skills of a bloodhound. Our accommodation? Not a tent, my friends. We were ensconced in a ridiculously chic tented camp, which turned out to be more of a five star hotel suite that just happened to have a canvas roof. Think four poster beds, enormous bathrooms with rainfall showers, and a private verandah where we’d sip GandTs as the sun dipped below the acacia trees, painting the sky in shades of improbable orange. The game drives were, of course, spectacular. Geoffrey had a knack for finding the most incredible sightings. We saw lions lounging like furry royalty, elephants bathing with an almost childlike joy, and a cheetah with cubs so tiny they looked like oversized kittens. There was this one moment, I swear, when a giraffe casually ambled past our open top vehicle, its head so high it looked like it was about to have a chat with the clouds. It was quite humbling, really, realising you’re just a tiny speck in this vast, wild world. Though, I admit, my primary concern at that moment was whether my camera lens could capture its majestic hauteur. After days of exhilarating wildlife encounters and evenings spent around roaring campfires sharing tales of the day’s sightings, we transitioned from the wild heart of Kenya to its sun kissed coast. The change of scenery was as breathtaking as the wildlife. We found ourselves in a secluded beach villa, all whitewashed walls and ocean breezes. My morning routine, which usually involves a frantic dash for coffee and a frantic search for matching socks, transformed into a languid affair of waking to the gentle lapping of waves and enjoying breakfast delivered straight to my sun lounger. The days on the coast were all about pure, unadulterated relaxation. We snorkelled in turquoise waters teeming with vibrant coral and curious fish, indulged in spa treatments that melted away any lingering traces of civilisation, and dined on freshly caught seafood under a canopy of stars. There was a delightful afternoon spent sailing on a traditional dhow, the wind in our hair, a cool drink in hand, and not a single email inbox in sight. It felt decadent, utterly and delightfully decadent. Looking back, it was more than just a holiday; it was an experience. It was a chance to disconnect from the everyday hustle and bustle and reconnect with something primal and beautiful. And let’s be honest, it was also an excuse to wear linen trousers without feeling ridiculously out of place. If you’re contemplating a splurge, and I mean a proper, guilt free, life affirming splurge, then a luxury safari through Kenya is an absolute must. Just be warned, you might find yourself judging your everyday life against the backdrop of lions and turquoise oceans for a while afterwards. And that, my friends, is no bad thing.