Fancy a bit of a jaunt? I’m just back from a rather fabulous nine-day safari in Tanzania’s northern circuit, and honestly, I’m still pinching myself to see if it was all a dream. If you’re thinking of dipping your toes into the world of exclusive luxury safaris, stop thinking and start booking. It’s truly the bee’s knees. Nine days might sound like a good chunk of time, but when you’re hurtling across the plains in a private 4x4, with your own incredibly knowledgeable guide who knows the wildlife better than I know my own biscuit tin, time just…melts. We kicked things off in Tarangire National Park. Now, I’d heard whispers of its baobab trees and elephants, but nothing quite prepares you for them. We saw herds so vast they looked like they were auditioning for a stampede scene in an epic film. And the elephants! Big, grey, magnificent creatures, calmly munching away while we sipped on perfectly chilled champagne from our cooler. Honestly, it felt rather civilised, a far cry from my usual rushed airport sprints. Next up was the Serengeti. Ah, the Serengeti. It’s one of those places that’s on everyone’s bucket list, and for good reason. We arrived just as the migration was doing its thing. Now, I’m no zoologist, but watching thousands upon thousands of wildebeest and zebra thundering across the plains, with lions lurking nearby, well, it’s an experience that humbles you. And I’m not talking about roughing it in a tent. My accommodation was a collection of ridiculously chic tented camps, each with a proper four poster bed, fluffy robes, and a bathroom that put my own at home to shame. I even had a personal butler who seemed to materialise out of nowhere with a fresh GandT just as the sun began to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and purple. It was pure decadence. We also ventured into the Ngorongoro Crater, and I have to admit, the sheer density of wildlife there is astonishing. It’s like a natural amphitheatre of animals. We saw rhinos, which felt particularly special, as they’re quite elusive. My guide, bless his cotton socks, would point out a leopard napping in a tree or a cheetah surveying its domain with such casual expertise, I half expected him to start humming a nature documentary soundtrack. It was quite amusing to think that just a few days prior, I’d been stressing about whether I’d packed enough socks. Apparently, on a luxury safari, the only packing you need to worry about is deciding which of your designer sunglasses to wear. The whole point of a luxury safari, I discovered, is that it removes all the friction. You’re not worried about navigating, finding food, or dealing with uncomfortable lodgings. You’re simply immersed in the magic of Africa, with every need catered for. It’s a chance to reconnect with nature, to marvel at the sheer power and beauty of the animal kingdom, and to indulge in some serious pampering. I’m already contemplating when I can next afford to trade my sensible trainers for a pair of perfectly polished boots and embark on another ridiculously lavish adventure. My wallet might weep, but my soul will undoubtedly sing.