Right then, where do I even begin with this absolute cracker of a trip? I’ve just returned from nine glorious days of pure, unadulterated luxury out in the wild, and honestly, I’m not sure my sensible tweed jacket and lukewarm cup of tea will ever feel quite the same again. This wasn’t your average ‘spot a dodgy zebra from a dusty jeep’ kind of safari. Oh no, this was the desert and delta, ultra luxe edition. Think less ‘roughing it’ and more ‘being thoroughly pampered while elephants wander past your plunge pool.’ We started in the Namib Desert, a place so vast and so quiet you could practically hear your own thoughts whizzing around. Our accommodation was less ‘tent’ and more ‘architectural masterpiece with panoramic desert views.’ Seriously, I think I spent more time admiring the design of my villa than I did actually looking for wildlife, and that’s saying something considering the lions. The mornings were a blur of sunrise drives in open top vehicles, hushed whispers from our incredibly knowledgeable guides (who, by the way, seemed to have a sixth sense for animal sightings), and the occasional, slightly embarrassing, moment of me struggling to keep my perfectly brewed cappuccino from sloshing everywhere. It’s tough work, this luxury lark. After days of sand dunes that looked like they’d been painted by a particularly flamboyant artist, we jetted off to the Okavango Delta. Delta. Even the word sounds wet and wonderful, doesn’t it? And it absolutely delivered. Picture this: you’re gliding through lily pad choked waterways in a mokoro canoe, a traditional dugout, feeling like a serene explorer from a bygone era. Except, instead of mosquito nets and questionable rations, I had a chilled bottle of bubbly within arm’s reach and the distinct aroma of gourmet cuisine wafting from our lodge. We even had a private chef who whipped up seafood platters that would make a Michelin star restaurant weep with envy. I swear, the hippos seemed to approve too, giving us a rather stately nod as we paddled by. The wildlife encounters were, of course, the main event, and they were simply spectacular. We saw everything you could dream of and then some. Lions lounging in the shade, elephants bathing with wild abandon, meerkats standing guard like tiny, furry sentinels. And all of it observed from a respectful distance, of course, but with the best possible vantage points. There’s something profoundly humbling about seeing these magnificent creatures in their natural habitat, especially when you’re enjoying it with the comfort of knowing your afternoon tea is being prepared with the finest Earl Grey. What struck me most, beyond the sheer beauty of the landscapes and the incredible animals, was the effortless perfection of the entire experience. Every detail was considered, every whim anticipated. From the sundowners served on a private dune overlooking a fiery sunset, to the stargazing sessions where our guide could identify constellations I never knew existed, it was all rather… extraordinary. It’s the kind of trip that makes you question your life choices and wonder if you can somehow swing a permanent residency in a luxury safari lodge. Probably not, but a girl can dream. If you're looking for an escape that redefines ‘getting away from it all,’ and by that I mean leaving behind all your worries and embracing pure indulgence, then this desert and delta adventure is an absolute must. Just try not to get too used to the champagne and canapés, it makes returning to reality a tad… challenging.